Puzzled

The title of this one is Puzzled.

You can't change me/
You can break me into pieces but you cant rearrange me/
Into something I'm not/
Because the pieces of this human puzzle/
Fit the way I choose/
And the edges are ever-changing/
Just like me/
And sometimes you lose a piece/
But I bet that I'll look better without it anyway/
Or maybe I'll make a new one/
Full of new perspective/
And so maybe all the edges dont fit perfectly/
But I'm not trying to jam them together/
There are gaps, like open doors/
So when oppurtunity knocks/
Throw open that door/
Throw open those gaps
And let light fly in/
Acknowledge the illuminated spaces/
That you once tried to hide/
Because those spaces, those craters/
They make up who we are/
Because if we were all whole/
We’d all be the same

GOOD MORNIN' URBODY!!!

So, today I woke up early, even though today is the one day I could sleep in (go figure.) But this morning and last night I was writing so here's last nights:

If eyes are windows to the soul/

Then why are yours closed/

Throw open the shutters/

And see what your great grand fathers and mothers/

Have created for you/

So don't black out the windows/

Or turn a blind eye/

Because windows are clear/

So you see what there really is/

No tints or colors to create discrimination or fear/

The eyes are the mind so don't close them/

Ignorance creates discrimination so get to know them/

Before saying things that you can't rewind/

Because the second worst thing to waste is time/

The first being thoughts words and ideas/

So when your focus is blurry make it clear/

So that it sees what there is like a pane of glass/

Because maybe then we will all amass/

An arsenal of love and vault full of hatred/

That we keep locked up tighter than pandoras box/

And then maybe we all won't knock/

It til we try it/

And maybe we'll learn not to mind it/

The differences and opinions/

Because we are not the minions of this society/

Because we can be whatever the hell we want to be/

Because that's what it means when we say we are free

It's been a while

Hey there empty space and invisible followers!!! It's been a while since I posted anything on here. There are a few reasons, I had a whirlwind summer, school just started up, and I didn't really try to write anything over summer (which I guess is stupid since there was so much inspiration around me.) But, I realized that writing on the blog was something I sort of missed, even if was just the equivalent of an online diary. Now the reason I had this marvelous epiphany was because on Wednesday during lunch I went to S.W.O.R.D. club, which is the poetry club at my school. Well, without further ado here is the poem I wrote a yesterday in a fit of inspiration.

there once was a chance I didnt take/
I could’ve said something but, maybe they might make/
fun, of the girl that speaks up/
sometimes you must say that enough is enough
when equality is unequal/
and when all the people/
are not what they say because/
you know what they say/
that actions speak louder than words/
you don’t have to speak in order to be heard/
because you have an active voice/
in order to make change and in order to make choice/
and you can say/
put your words away/
because when words are a weapon sheath them/
and when all are our neighbors greet them/
not with hatred and judgement/
but with acceptance and love that/
might, create love and destroy hatred

Presentation

So, for those of you who don't know, this blog was an English project I had to do as an end-of-year project, that I also had to present to the class. Presentations are horrible. Unless you are one of those magical people who can stand up in front of people no problem, presentations are your worst nightmare. But why? I personally think it's because you are showing a little part of yourself to the class/ group of people you're presenting to, and they can think or say whatever about it. And people are afraid of judgement. Even those people that pretend they don't give a crap about one anyone else says, everyone gives a crap. So when you present people could think that your topic is stupid, the way you talked was stupid, was you said was wrong, or that you should just shut up and stick to writing blogs. But, some people might actually connect to what you were saying and it will basically be the story of their life. So today, I presented this blog to the class. And I feel like 95% of the people didn't really give a crap, but I felt like a couple people actually cared what I had to say. So I guess my  point is that even if putting yourself out there makes you feel uncomfortable or sometimes even a little nauseous, that it could make a difference to someone. (Also, keep in mind that next time you are sitting there clipping your nails during the middle of someone's presentation, they CAN see you.)

Also some really awesome photographs:

Photo credit to Abelardo Morell

Photo credit to Alen MacWeeney

Photo credit to Han Nguyen

For my birthday my friend took me to the MOPA (Museum of Photographic Arts) because I'm officially in LOVE with that place. And these were a few of my favorite photos from one of the exhibits. (For those of you who can't see, for "Flies In the Window" a.k.a. photo numero 2 outside of the window are cows.) I really like "Flies In the Window" because I think that Alen MacWeeney is using the dead flies as symbolism for the cows that are about to be slaughtered, that, or he just really likes cows and dead flies.

Practice what you preach

So I believe that people really need to express themselves without fear of being judged (but I kind of need a reality check.) So I wrote this... piece and, quite frankly, I'm not exactly sure what to do with it. I want to perform it or read it or something, but I'm still not confident in it. I was really inspired by Sarah Kay (this is her website: http://www.kaysarahsera.com/.) For those who don't know her, she's SUPER amazing and even though a lot of people won't understand or "get" her poetry (we played a video of her in my English class, which is when I first saw her perform and , like, half the kids in my class went "huh?") I really love it and I totally understand what she means. Anyway, so I wrote this piece (I think it would technically be considered poetry, I honestly hate the word "poem" because it makes me think of a first grader trying to rhyme something with orange.) And I feel that it's supposed to be spoken, however, A) I have never done spoken word poetry B) I haven't rehearsed it C) and even though it makes me sound like a hypocrite, and I hate hypocrites (man, am I a walking contradiction) I'm not really sure if I'm quite ready to put myself that far out there by posting a video of me reciting it, so I will give you the written version.


Superficial, fake, ugly, pretty, strange, normal, skinny, fat, smart, stupid, boring, loud judged/
I have lived in and will continue living in for the next few years/
A teenage wasteland where those are our guidelines/
Where we are put into boxes defining who we are/
We are sorted like the pile of old clothes nobody wants/
By our looks, our size, our color/
We are separated and put with those that we match, stuffed in little boxes, labeled, and then stored in the attic for the next few years/
Until someone blows the dust off our cardboard jail cells and pulls off the labels and allows us to roam free/
But for some of us that person never comes/
And another one, named Insecurity seals those who are too scared of freedom into their boxes/
With duct tape made out of every name they’ve ever been called and everything they’ve ever done wrong/
And an army of the free try to open this casket/
But no, an army is not strong enough to save a single soldier held down by herself/
And the army loses its battle and goes home/
To the brightly colored houses and the children who will never have to conform/
But the deserted soldier can only fight alone
And if she chooses to, she will win/
Against those who discarded her, like old clothing/
Against those who labeled her/
Against those who picked her up and shoved her in that soggy cardboard box that smells like boiled cabbage and old rag mats/
Even against Insecurity/
And she can break out of the shell that they have molded her to fit into/
But only if she wins against herself.

Okay, so for those of you saying huh? right now, it's basically saying that we are all stereotyped and labeled based on what we look like. And until we are ready to break free of those stereotypes and expectations and define ourselves, we will continue to be "boxed into" who we are. Some people will realize that or have already realized that or are realizing that right now will "roam free", but others who are still afraid of the opinions of others will let their insecurities control them and the only person who can let their securities go is that one individual. And the part about the brightly colored houses is when you end stereotyping in your life.

Also, ten points to whoever caught my George Orwell reference. For those of you who didn't, read the book (1984, I read it in 8th grade, it's kind of confusing, but the concept is awesome.)
Hint: smells like boiled cabbage and old rag mats.

Rookie

I am officially obsessed with this site. It's flippin' awesome and I totally encourage you to check it out. It has everything from why being weird is awesome, stories of abuse, accepting yourself, racial discrimination, eating disorders, things about everyday life, with a general theme of feminism. And something else really rad about it? This amazing magazine's main editor is just 15. Its regular teenage (and a couple 20 year old) girls writing truthfully about their lives.
http://rookiemag.com/

Why self-expression matters to me

I'm a freshman in high school, an for those of you who are currently in high school or have been to high school know that in these teenage years we are affected by outside influences, sometimes more than by ourselves. We have to deal with parents, siblings, teachers, friends, boy/girlfriends, the media, peer pressure, stereotypes, and the list keeps going. It seems like everyone has some input on who we are. Our parents want us to well in school, or excel at our sports, or be the star of the spring musical, but maybe we'd rather just be in the debate club. Or our friends want us to go do something that we don't even want to consider trying. The media and basically the entire school have stereotypes and "guidelines" that we should fit into or be. We should be skinnier, smarter, better at sports, less clumsy, funnier, less shy, or whatever people are pushing you to be. You might be kind of quiet at first, but who knows, you could be the funniest person ever. You can be stereotyped based on anything race, gender, age, how you look, how you talk, how you dress, etc. Just because you're _____________ doesn't mean you are ___________ and do _____.  I feel like self-expression is such an important part of us, but a lot of us don't really realize it, or aren't sure of what others might say ("They might say I look like a ho if I wear this outfit.", "You dress like in black so you must be emo.") You aren't what you look like, but lots of people assume otherwise. So for my first challenge to you is to go an entire day without labeling anyone, stereotyping anyone, judging anyone, or gossiping about anyone, and maybe it seems super easy or maybe it sounds incredibly hard, but I'm challenging myself to do it, so I'd hope you would too.